The List of Things That Will Not Change

Discrimination against gay people is a motif in the novel that demonstrates the contrast between judgment and control and unconditional love. Bea’s dad divorced Bea’s mom after he almost choked to death and it occurred to him that he should start living his life the way he knew would make him happiest. The divorce meant a long period of adjustment for the entire family, and deep self-discovery for his daughter, Bea, who was caught in the middle of it all. Bea’s dad was fortunate enough to be met with acceptance and understanding when he came out, but Jesse’s family (with the exception of Sheila) told him to deny his true self, which led to a decade-long false marriage with Sonia’s mother. Jesse’s brother, Mission, refused to communicate with Jesse after he came out the second time. Jesse also experiences discrimination in his daily life, such as when he serves oysters at the colonial breakfast, but always holds his head high and ignores it. Bea is defensive about Jesse and her dad and acts out aggressively when her classmate or cousin makes fun of them. When Mission tries to stop the wedding, Jesse’s character continues to hold strong, and he and Bea’s dad are married. When Mission walked out of the wedding, it was as though Jesse was finally free of that burden and could move on with his life. It was Bea who came out of her shell at the wedding, inspired by the day’s events, and urged everyone to dance in celebration of Jesse and Daniel’s unconditional love.