46 pages • 1 hour read
The Comfort Book
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Key Figures
Matt Haig
Content Warning: The following section references suicidal ideation, sexual abuse, and slavery.
Haig was born on July 3, 1975, in Sheffield, England. He is a prolific author of adult fiction, children’s fiction, and nonfiction. As a child, Haig struggled with social anxiety, shyness, and concern with how others perceived him. When he was 24 years old, he experienced a mental health crisis and became suicidal while living in Ibiza with his girlfriend (now wife) Andrea. He detailed this difficult moment of his life in his first nonfiction title, Reasons to Stay Alive. Haig wrote The Comfort Book to document ideas, concepts, thoughts, songs, films, anecdotes, mantras, and stories that bring him comfort and make him feel alive.
Because Haig does not subscribe to any faith, he offers humanistic comfort that does not hinge on readers’ acceptance of any type of religious belief. Haig emphasizes the resilience and perseverance of the human spirit and a sense of hope spawned by people’s connectivity with one another and the world at large. For Haig, words are an avenue for connecting to others and cultivating positive changes in the world; they provide comfort and therapy to the writer, but also to the reader.
As a vegan, Haig practices compassion for all beings in his everyday life. This practice shines through in The Comfort Book—particularly the chapter “Basic Nowness,” where he urges compassion for oneself, for family and friends, and for all beings who inhabit this earth. He writes, “We become a part of all things through compassion. We become the metaphorical fire, earth, air, and water. We become what we always were. Life itself” (247).
Maya Angelou
The details Haig includes about Maya Angelou exemplify perseverance in the face of adversity as well as the therapeutic and transformative power of words. As a child, Angelou did not speak for five years after enduring sexual abuse by her mother’s boyfriend and experiencing guilt following his death. According to Haig, Angelou found her voice again through reading and became “one of the key voices of the civil rights movement” (35). Angelou’s story reveals the power of perseverance and illustrates that while one cannot control the events in one’s life, one can control the way one responds to them. Her story reveals that there is a world of possibility that lies on the other side of suffering.
Angelou’s story also unveils the importance of words, which Haig too values words as a source of catharsis and a means of coping with negative emotions. He states, “Language gives us the power to voice our experience, to reconnect with the world, and to change our own and other people’s lives” (35). Words not only provide an outlet through which to release one’s thoughts and emotions but also align one with the external world. By writing or speaking, a person gets out of their mind and into the world, finding commonalities with others through language.
Nellie Bly
Haig includes biographical information about journalist Nellie Bly to highlight humans’ ability to persevere in the face of impossible odds. When Bly was 15, she faced emotional and financial hardship after her father’s passing and struggled to support her family. To earn a living, she built a career as a journalist at a time when “respectable” women were expected to be housewives and mothers. Nor did Bly confine herself to “womanly” topics in her journalism, writing instead on topics such as the impact of divorce laws on women and the hellish living conditions at the psychiatric hospital on Blackwell’s Island. In a two-part article she wrote on the latter topic, Bly ushered in a new perspective on mental illness and helped secure the closure of the facility. Her story highlights humans’ capacity to persevere through hardships and exercise control over their lives.
Bly’s biography also attests to the value and meaning found in curiosity—in seeking out and sharing knowledge. It highlights the value of getting out of one’s own mind and into the world, whether it be by writing or immersing oneself in new experiences. By redirecting one’s attention to external things rather than dwelling on negative thoughts, one is not only capable of persevering in the face of despair, but also living a life of greater purpose.
Epictetus
Although Haig frequently cites Marcus Aurelius, he includes a lengthier discussion of Epictetus, his favorite philosopher. Epictetus’s story provides readers with yet another example of a person who persevered and survived through difficult times. Epictetus was born into slavery and suffered physical pain most of his life due to a leg injury. When he became a free man, he began to teach philosophy. He cultivated his own philosophy, which continues to aid in emotional healing 2,000 years later.
Haig appreciates that Epictetus’s philosophy acknowledges the extent to which people have control over their lives. Although a person cannot control what happens to them, they can control their reaction, and for Epictetus, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react that matters” (183). In other words, the events or associated emotions one experiences are not in and of themselves a source of suffering. Rather, it is how one views those events and emotions that produces despair or hopefulness. Many of the historical figures Haig references in the text reacted to hardship with this sense of control over their responses. They did not allow suffering to sabotage their futures; they chose to persevere and direct their energies outward into the world to imbue their lives with purpose and meaning.
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