Secret Daughter

“Family” is a malleable concept that can be shaped by cultural forces (Indian versus American, for example) as well as circumstance (adoption versus biological birth). Asha’s adoption underscores that theme in Secret Daughter, but this concept is also explored in in how Somer’s white family is so small and insular compared to Kris’s Indian family, which is expansive and sprawling; in how Kavita misses the extended network of people in her rural village in India—to be sure, a kind of “family”—when she and Jasu move to Bombay; and in how Somer is ultimately accepted into Kris’s Indian family, despite her whiteness and disagreements early in her and Kris’s marriage. Even while the novel explores the nature of non-blood-related kinship throughout the novel, Asha’s desire to know her birth mother makes it clear that knowing one’s heritage, as part of defining one’s “family,” is still important.

No matter how “family” is defined, it is of the utmost importance to one’s development as a person. In Chapter 20, when Kavita and Jasu head to Bombay, their extended family networks in rural India come out to wish them well and say goodbye. Kavita thinks about how she will miss her sister, being so far away: “Kavita forces the ache that rises in her heart at the thought of being so far away from her sister” (94). In Chapter 55, Asha remarks to Sanjay how grateful and surprised she is that, despite never having met her father’s side of the family in India until that very year, they welcomed her with open arms; Sanjay responds by saying “that’s family” (316). In Chapter 60, Kavita takes comfort in learning that Asha—despite never having met her—is safe and doing well. The novel explores how family, as a force, exerts great influence over a person, one that shapes their existence and the course of their life.

The impulse to know one’s familial roots is incredibly powerful—another theme explored through Asha’s desire to know her birth family. Throughout the book, we see Asha holding the silver bangle, the only gift given to her by Kavita before she was given up for adoption. In Chapter 55, when Asha learns more about who Kavita is and where she comes from, she confides in Sanjay that she is now at peace. She explains to him how she has been searching for her birth mother her whole life. Asha admits that she wrote un-mailed letters to her mother as a child, asking about her roots. Despite the love she was getting from Somer and Kris, it never alleviated the desire to understand, more deeply, her Indian heritage and her birth parents’ lives. Asha goes on to tell Sanjay that, after learning more about the difficult lives of her birth parents, she is even more grateful for Somer and Kris: “And now, I know where I came from, and I know I was loved. I know I’m a hell of a lot better off now than I would have been otherwise” (315). Asha getting to know her heritage has the surprising effect of bringing her closer to her adoptive family, as well.