Not So Pure and Simple

“I’m not built that way though, not the smash-on-the-couch-after-school-before-some-adult-got-home type. I liked the way Dad sat on one corner of the sofa with Mom wedged in his armpit, her feet tucked under her, while we all watched Jeopardy! or Black-ish. I liked watching them hold hands in the Costco before I was old enough to skip the trip. That’s the kind of thing I wanted. With Kiera. And it wasn’t unattainable. I wouldn’t let it be.”

Del’s desire to find true love reveals he’s unlike other boys. Instead of being a stereotype, Del has depth. He’s imperfect but likable, and his singular point of view keeps readers invested in his growth.

“My sister said, ‘Sometimes I think simple hurts worse. So people make stuff complicated because there’s more ways to toss around blame.’”

Cressie’s comment refers to the alleged pregnancy pact the prior year at the high school. Inventing complicated reasons for issues with a simple cause gives the adults a sense of control; in this case, they can blame various societal ills or failures of parenting or moral collapse. The kids know the reason is far simpler; but the adults can’t analyze or control a stretch of snow days and boredom. This excerpt also recalls Jameer’s parents, who want to blame the fact that he’s gay on technology, the corrupting influence of others, and anything else that they can remove from his environment. If they acknowledge the simple fact that their son is gay because he was born that way, they lose any sense of control over who he is or becomes.

“His mom turned the car in a wide arc as if angling back toward the road, but stopped short of a complete turn to lower her window and yell, ‘You better remember what Proverbs 6:20 tells us. “My son, observe the—”’ Jameer spun on his heels and stood at attention like a military man. ‘“—commandment of your father and do not forsake the teaching of your mother.”’ He snapped off a salute paired with an exaggerated smile.”

After nearly catapulting from his parents’ moving car, Jameer is called up short by his mother’s reference to Proverbs. He responds with military-like posture, a too-big grin, and a salute as he finishes the Bible verse for her. The irony is that his mother technically cannot fault him; he knows his Bible and gives her his full attention and respect. Still, her concern isn’t for Jameer himself, who could have broken his ankle in his dismount from the car. Her concern isn’t even for his salvation but for his obedience, which he can feign with his exaggerated behavior.

“She said so much in that one breath it actually made me dizzy. ‘You’ve got it all wrong, Kiera.’

‘I don’t think so. You and Qwan have reputations. […] If you two want to be man-whores in this state and the next, it’s not my business. But I won’t let you be a predator with them.’ She pointed back the way we came, to her girls.”

This passage demonstrates Kiera’s protectiveness and care for the other girls, as well as her passionate and fearless tone in confronting Del. The irony is that she has been sexually active, but Del has not. Kiera, though, has heard the rumors about him and Qwan. Neither Kiera nor Del has been fully honest with the other.

“Shianne was the only other person in Green Creek who knew that, really, my participation in Purity Pledge was completely aboveboard. Even if involuntarily.

While she went and got a baby, my sexual status remained unchanged. […] Despite the legend.

I, Del Rainey, was, and still am, a virgin.

After the notorious basement party, Del and Shianne went along with the lie that they had sex in the bathroom. Del struggles with honesty, so the formality of his word choice conveys that this moment of truth is a big deal for him. Del’s confession (only to the reader) that he is a virgin also foreshadows his later, more public, confession and highlights his privilege in having the choice to confess or not. Del can choose to be honest or not about his sexual experience, but Shianne eventually got pregnant and became an object of attention and gossip. She could no longer control her narrative the same way Del could control his.

“That way anyone who saw me hang back would assume it was book related, not, er, penis related.”

Del has a good relationship with his English and Healthy Living teacher, MJ, and despite slight embarrassment, is comfortable enough to ask Jameer’s questions related to sex. His humor comes into play with his word choice and even stammering with the “er” before “penis.” He uses humor to cover his nervousness and trusts he won’t draw attention to himself.

“‘What about the guys? It takes two, folks. Or, I guess, eighteen, since there are nine babies. You know what I mean. I don’t see y’all saying a thing about the daddies. Let me be the one to start that conversation, because I got plenty to say about my baby’s daddy!’ [Taylor said].”

Taylor presents issues of toxic masculinity, feminism, and sex in her video. She protests the double standard that congratulates men on sexual conquests but blames women when sex results in babies. Cressie also addresses these problems on her show, so Taylor builds the foundation for later development of these themes of feminism.

“‘I want to apologize to you, son. Admittedly, I was shocked when you joined Purity Pledge. I questioned your motives. That was wrong. I’m proud of you for the decision you made, and I’m glad that you’re taking such steps to being a good man.’

Then she drove us inside. The door ratcheted down behind us, and she was quickstepping into the house before I could undo my seat belt, or say thanks, or clarify what she meant by ‘good man.’”

Del’s Mom is thoughtful and proud that her son makes what she perceives are smart choices. By noticing that he’s working to be a good man, she believes Del won’t turn out like Cressie’s attacker. Del, though, is still figuring out what it means to be a good man, partly because he’s still evaluating the different messages he gets from the places and people around him and still determining his identity.

“I’d told the truth. That shouldn’t be wrong, but the truth could be a weapon depending on who used it.”

When Pastor Newsome questions Del about the Healthy Living class, Del answers him honestly but without elaboration. As Del matures; he is coming to realize that honesty isn’t black and white. There are gray areas where honesty can be harmful because Newsome, armed with Del’s answers, can weaponize facts against MJ and the Healthy Living class.

“‘I’m worried about you,’ [MJ said].

‘Me?’ Had he seen through my guilt? My lies?

‘You students. The information from Healthy Living was super basic, I’ll admit. But it was better than nothing. This whole community has seen what ignorance gets. Yet, year after year, the adults who are supposed to know better think that if we hide all the sex talk from you, you’re not going to do it. It’s something about getting old, particularly around here, that makes people forget they were teens once too.’”

MJ’s discussion about the class shows the tension between ideals and pragmatism. While MJ believes the Healthy Living class will empower the students to make informed choices, others think making sexual education accessible is the same as condoning teenage sexual activity. MJ cares about Del and the others, so he’s open about his frustrations. Eager to work within the school system to address the cluster of teenage pregnancies, he is confident ignorance will exacerbate the problem.

“‘It’s like what Sister Vanessa says in class. A lot of times we’re all thinking the same thing, so no one should be ashamed of what we discuss in our group. Every topic can help everyone.’ She did say that. Sounded, oddly, like MJ, too.”

Purity Pledge and Healthy Living lessons overlap more than expected. They aren’t strictly opposing sides because the teachers share similar ideals. Thus, in both classes sharing information is helpful, not harmful, when kids are ready for it.

“‘I want to go on [Cressie’s] show. It’s about time someone started listening to us.’ [Autumn] pressed a folded slip of paper in my palm. ‘My IG, Snapchat, and cell number are there. Thanks for putting in a good word for me.’ Autumn skittered into the hallway rush, leaving me so lost.”

Autumn’s desire to be heard on Cressie’s show underscores the important work Cressie is doing to give voice to the double standards and struggles women endure. Cressie’s show empowers Autumn to share her story and connect with other women like herself.

“‘Del, I believe you can keep your head down and this will blow over. It doesn’t really have anything to do with you,’ [Jameer said]. That was good advice. That’s what I’d do. It didn’t have anything to do with me.”

Because his sister’s (and all girls’) struggles aren’t his, Del can’t yet see that he might have a role in perpetuating them. He takes Jameer’s advice to lay low, but he could be active rather than passive. He could consider how he benefits from the double standard Cressie describes. For example, he could be introspective about the pact he made with Shianne and consider how sexual double standards altered her path—but not his.

“I couldn’t help but examine Angie from a distance, smiling at something Kiera said, looking no different than every other time I’d seen her. You never knew what was happening underneath, not with anyone.”

It’s very difficult to know what is going on in someone else’s mind, body, or current situation. In this case, Del can’t tell that Angie might be pregnant because she’s acting as if nothing is wrong. Del is learning not to take everyone at face value or to make assumptions about what someone thinks or feels from their outward behavior.

“‘Examine all of your current options.’ Jaylan paced before us like a drill sergeant. ‘Evaluate the pros and cons of each. Extrapolate each pro and con out one year, three years, and five years to determine the possible results. Thinking about it that hard, that clinically, will make things so much clearer.’

Jaylan is a strong catalyst for improvement with her advice. She gives the teens the means to have forward-thinking and critical thinking skills. Her advice helps them to be more mature by thinking before acting and taking control of their lives with responsibility.

“‘Her and that dude are crazy done. She won’t even mention his name. After last night,’ [Mason] paused, dramatic, ‘she probably don’t even remember it. Feel me?’

‘Bull. Shit.’ A new voice in the conversation. Mine. I rounded the corner fully.

‘D, stop,’ Qwan said, tagging behind me like he was connected by an invisible tow chain.

All the bragging joy swirled from the room like dirty water down a drain.

Mason stood, smirking. ‘Huh?’

Volcanic rage unlike anything I’d ever felt bubbled in my chest, over my tongue, into the world. ‘Everybody know you be lying on your dick. I’m not going to sit here and let you throw dirt on Kiera’s name like that.’”

Del, overwhelmed with emotion, can’t hold back when Mason implies he’s been intimate with Kiera. His rage shows his protectiveness of, devotion to, and infatuation with Kiera. The recurrence of creating a false narrative around sexual experience underscores the pull the characters feel to conform to others’ expectations—whether that expectation is to have or not have sex.

“She was hurting; me rubbing her broken vow in her face was salt in a wound. Good! ‘Out here acting like a THOT.’ I was all rage then, none of the other emotions. It felt good being real about all this bullshit. For once.”

The truth in this conflict between Del and Kiera hurts them both as Del is shocked Kiera had sex with Mason and Colossus; she isn’t who he thought she was. They take their emotions out on each other. THOT, or “That ho over there,” in their teen slang, which works well for Del’s voice too.

“‘Del,’ Shianne said, not one bit of humor in her voice, “who told you you were nice?’

‘I—’ What?

‘Since you have your gripes about us girls and what we don’t see right in front of us, let me put you on to one of my pet peeves about boys. Warped perspective.’ She bounced Zoey, who squealed with delight, having fun now. ‘Her dad has given me many lessons over the last year. We’re only right when we please you. When you’re not pleased, we’re crazy, or juvenile, or stupid, or not worth your time. Because you’re so nice.’

Part of Del’s identity formation is determining what it means to be a good man or a nice guy. Shianne is unafraid to be honest with him about his behavior; Del isn’t a hero for standing up for Kiera since he insults her after the fact. Del isn’t as nice as he thinks he is because he’s been just as disrespectful to girls (even Kiera) as Mason has. Shianne’s opinion that men are only respectful to women when the women agree with them underscores the male entitlement that runs throughout the novel. Shianne helps Del understand what genuine respect and being “nice” entail, and her perspective an important part of his eventual maturation.

“Despite my anger over the way things went down, despite the confusion and disappointment and embarrassment I felt when my family confronted me about it, despite the foolishness of everything I did and tried to do, hope sparked like an ember in my chest.

Did Kiera feel more for me than she’d ever let on?

Was Sister Vanessa here to tell me Kiera had been as miserable as me over these last few weeks? […]

Sister Vanessa said, ‘I know it hurts when someone you like doesn’t feel the same way, Del. I’m sorry your pain drove you to react badly.’

That ember was snuffed with a knife’s tip, the blade then twisted, scraping the soft things inside me.”

This section brings the steady build-up of tension over whether Kiera may still like him to a head. His hope and then heartbreak, described as a knife tip, is a rite of passage for all teenagers. The “soft part” is the immature fantasy of Kiera he had cultivated for years, but for Del to mature, he must see himself and other people clearly. With Sister Vanessa’s honesty, Del finally believes that Kiera won’t ever see him as more than a friend.

“[A]nd given the very real work I apparently needed to do processing my feelings toward all the women in my life, Jameer became the better option.”

Del is changing, learning, and growing to respect women and find coping mechanisms for his emotions, like his heartbreak and anger. His admission and active attempts to be better here show he’s capable of change and working through his issues, thanks to influences such as Cressie and Shianne.

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing themselves.”

Del and others had to listen to others, grow, and mature to change. Authentic change comes from within and can’t be forced by others or outer forces. Del grows up when he gives up on Kiera and works to change himself instead.

“Post-holiday break, I’d expected jokes, and there were some, but not nearly as much as the support I got from many who expressed their own anxieties about sex. MJ asked me to stay back after English class, and when the room cleared, he said, ‘It was a brave thing you did.’”

The positive reaction to Del’s confession surprises him. He’s learning it’s better to be honest and authentic, and he that’s the only approach he didn’t try with Kiera. from the start, as he should have been with Kiera. His willingness to be vulnerable connects him with others who have the same insecurities and fosters greater authenticity among the teenagers. MJ’s support and validation show how important it is for young men to have models of healthy masculinity.

“‘Well, it’s going to be called ‘Positive Prep’ […] The big difference is the committee agreed to make some adjustments, focusing on a wider variety of safe sex practices, consent, and self-care. In other words, things that were proven to actually be helpful in reducing unwanted pregnancy, disease, even sexual assaults. Plus, no questions will be off-limits. I’m sure you can appreciate that,’ [MJ said].”

When the sex ed class is restored and students can learn again, information wins out over censorship and fear. The book also comes full circle from canceling the class to reinstating it. The changes—new ideas, new title, and new curriculum— parallel Del’s maturation as well.