Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t

“Before there was empathy at the company, going to work felt like, well, work.”

Sinek introduces empathy as a revolutionary component of the workplace, especially in the hands of competent leaders. One of the basic premises of his book is that going to work does not have to be a dreaded part of our lives.

“This is what happens when the leaders of an organization listen to the people who work there. Without coercion, pressure or force, the people naturally work together to help each other and advance the company.”

Much like empathy, the act of simply listening to employees produces a positive domino effect within an organization—which leads to a stronger sense of collaboration and teamwork.

“Truly human leadership protects an organization from the internal rivalries that can shatter a culture.”

Human leadership is (or at least, should be) protective by nature. When employee well-being is made a priority, the dangers of a hypercompetitive company culture are greatly minimized.

“Being a leader is like being a parent, and the company is like a new family to join.”

As former CEO Bob Chapman sought ways to understand the needs of his employees, he likened the experience of a father giving his daughter away on her wedding day to that of a company taking care of new members. Each employee is someone’s child and should be treated as such, with compassion and patience.

“To see money as subordinate to people and not the other way around is fundamental to creating a culture in which people naturally pull together to advance the business.”

Leaders who make profit their one and only motivation tend to experience setbacks. On the other hand, when people are the focus, the benefits of a thriving culture will likely pay for themselves and produce lucrative results.

“The world around us is filled with danger. Filled with things trying to make our lives miserable.”

Sinek reminds the reader that the need for safe, stable corporate cultures is exacerbated by the fact that the world, corporate or otherwise, is inherently dangerous. Thus why phrases such as “dog-eat-dog world” and “survival of the fittest” are so prevalent in both.

“Stress and anxiety at work have less to do with the work we do and more to do with weak management and leadership.”

While the daily responsibilities of a job can be stressful, the source of most stress lies with cruel or incompetent management that neither protects nor prioritizes employees.

“We are social animals, and being social was as important to us thousands of years ago as it is today.”

Even with the advent of social media and the effects of globalization, human beings were always meant to be social. We are social by nature, which accentuates the importance of a strong social dynamic in the workplace.

“Accomplishment may be fueled by dopamine. But that feeling of fulfillment, those lasting feelings of happiness and loyalty, all require engagement with others.”

While Sinek emphasizes the role of chemicals in our instincts to accomplish and achieve, the power of connection is also a necessary ingredient in long-term feelings of safety and security—which in turn leads to lower turnover rates.

“We are anything but loners.”

It’s one thing to call humans naturally social and another to say we’re not wired for solitude (in terms of reaching our full potential). Ingenuity and innovation can produce remarkable results for organizations because of collaboration, not in spite of it.

“Our jobs are literally killing us.”

The amount of stress we experience at work can lead to heart issues and weaker immune systems among other things. There’s a direct correlation between a stressful environment (i.e., poor leadership) and poor health.

“This is what happens when human beings, even engineers, are put in an environment for which we were designed. We stay. We remain loyal. We help each other and we do our work with pride and passion.”

Sinek argues that rather than simply working at a place that offers a high salary, most people seek respect and validation. At Charlie Kim’s Next Jump, most employees made life-long commitments as they knew they could work without fear; even the possibility of a pay raise elsewhere was insufficient in drawing them away.

“Companies and organizations are our modern tribes.”

Early human societies in which tribes sent hunters to procure food relied on a strong sense of community. Today, companies stand in for tribes, but the two are essentially the same.

“Courage comes from above. Our confidence to do what’s right is determined by how trusted we feel by our leaders.”

Sinek argues that leaders who empower their employees to make decisions themselves ultimately inspire courage and confidence. By cultivating a positive work environment, employees can become their best selves, future leaders even.

“Trust and commitment are feelings that we get from the release of chemical incentives deep in our limbic brain. And as such, they are inherently hard to measure.”

Companies use a number of metrics to evaluate their own productivity and success, but Sinek argues that the qualitative experience—contextualized by trust and commitment—does not fit within any particular metric. Trust and commitment may be non-quantifiable but are vital to cultivating a positive work culture.

“Every generation seems to confound or rebel against the generation before it.”

As Sinek explores the historical impact of the Baby Boomer generation, he reminds the reader that intergenerational differences are part of a larger cyclical phenomenon. Just as Boomers subverted the generation before them, so too are Millennials subverting their predecessors’ ideologies.

“Being a company of high moral standing is the same as being a person of high moral character—a standard not easily determined by the law but easily felt by anyone.”

Sinek argues that large corporations are often mistrusted due to a number of reasons (i.e., the tax loopholes they often benefit from while individual citizens are overburdened with their own income taxes). Companies that prioritize ethics are essentially outliers, but this is what makes them stand out. Earning trust is what allows them to enact lasting positive change.

“We are, for all the obvious reasons, more likely to look after people we personally know than those we don’t.”

Sinek draws attention to the power of human connection. Without forming close relationships with our co-workers or employees, we are less likely to make decisions that fully consider their particular needs in terms of well-being.

“We work to advance the vision of a leader who inspires us and we work to undermine a dictator who means to control us.”

Great leaders build trust and empower others, eliciting investment and loyalty from their employees. When a leader prioritizes well-being, they proactively avoid the undermining that often occurs as a byproduct of authoritarian leadership.

“Building trust requires nothing more than telling the truth.”

Rather than relying on some ten-step formula to achieve and build trust in the workplace, Sinek argues that the solution is actually quite simple: Tell the truth, even (and especially) in times of adversity.

“Leadership is about taking responsibility for lives and not numbers.”

Sinek argues that every generation of parents actively works to provide their children with a better life. This was true of the Greatest Generation, looking to make life easier for Boomers, and the same is true of this group and the younger Millennials.

“This is what all parents want—for their children to avoid their hardships and prosper.”

Sinek argues that every generation of parents actively works to provide their children with a better life. This was true of the Greatest Generation, looking to make life easier for Boomers, and the same is true of this group and the younger Millennials.

“When our children are conditioned to look for a digital hit when they are stressed, for the rest of their lives, when they suffer social stress, financial stress or career stress, they will turn not to a person for support but to a device.”

Sinek cautions against the dangers of relying on the artificial affirmation of social media, likening the feeling to a “high” from drug use. The more we rely on our devices, the less likely we are to make meaningful connections with others.