It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of substance use, mental illness, illness, and death.

“What I’ve learned from my own experience, training, and clinical practice is that the answer may not lie within our own story as much as in the stories of our parents, grandparents, and even our great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, also tells us that the effects of trauma can pass from one generation to the next. This ‘bequest’ is what’s known as inherited family trauma, and emerging evidence suggests that it is a very real phenomenon.”

In this excerpt, Wolynn highlights the intergenerational nature of trauma, suggesting that our struggles may stem from the unprocessed pain of previous generations. By using phrases like “the stories of our parents, grandparents, and even our great-grandparents,” he employs a cumulative structure to emphasize the depth of trauma’s reach across time. The term “bequest” is used as a metaphor that frames trauma as an inheritance, subtly invoking a sense of continuity and inevitability. Wolynn’s juxtaposition of personal experience with emerging scientific research lends credibility and a dual perspective, engaging readers both emotionally and intellectually.

“Regardless of the story we have about them, our parents cannot be expunged or ejected from us. They are in us and we are part of them—even if we’ve never met them. Rejecting them only distances us further from ourselves and creates more suffering.”

Wolynn highlights the inextricable bond between individuals and their parents, regardless of circumstances. The repetition of “in us” and “part of them” emphasizes the indelible connection, creating a rhythmic reinforcement of the idea that our identities are intertwined with our parental lineage. By using strong, definitive language like “cannot be expunged” and “rejecting them,” he confronts readers with the futility of denial, illustrating how such rejection only deepens internal conflict. The phrase “distances us further from ourselves” employs spatial metaphor to illustrate the emotional and psychological fragmentation caused by rejecting one’s origins.