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Content Warning: This section mentions suicide and mental health conditions.
André Aciman’s 2007 novel Call Me by Your Name serves as a symbol of Adelaide’s idealized idea of love. The book is one of Adelaide’s favorites, and she has long desired a relationship like the one between Elio and Oliver, the novel’s protagonists. The novel instills in her a longing for a “full, unconditional, romantic, apodictic” romance that she can believe in (71). In her relationship with Rory, she hopes for pure and unadulterated love in which she can exact “every childhood fantasy” she’s had about intimacy with someone she cares about (72). In these ways, the novel embodies Adelaide’s romantic ideals and gives her an aspirational sense of what she wants with Rory. However, the love story in Call Me by Your Name is fictional, and the version of love it portrays lives outside reality, giving Adelaide false expectations of what love should be like.
Adelaide gives Rory her copy of Call Me by Your Name for his birthday, inscribing a hidden love message in it. The gift communicates her deep feelings for him because the book is “immensely special to her” (136). Giving him the book is her way of showing Rory how significant he is to her life. She writes him a note in the book’s margins, hoping to convey his “impact” on her and “the magical kind of adoration” he stirs in others (137). The gift is bound to fail because it a symbol of Adelaide’s flawed expectations, and indeed, Rory does not understand the book’s meaning. Rather, he continues to value a book Nathalie gave him over Call Me by Your Name. His disregard for Adelaide’s gift conveys the imbalance of power in their relationship and the Complexities of Unrequited Love that define their dynamic.
Rory’s dating profile represents Rory’s disregard for his relationship with Adelaide. When she discovers the profile in Chapter 26, she finally realizes that he doesn’t care about their relationship in the same way that she does. The profile makes her understand that Rory has “been browsing for something better, prettier, [and] smarter” throughout their relationship (238). It also underscores Rory’s inability to value Adelaide; while she fights for his love, Rory entertains the possibility of being with someone else. The profile marks the end of their relationship because it effectively awakens Adelaide to Rory’s self-centered and egotistical nature. In this way, the profile emphasizes the Complexities of Unrequited Love, illustrating how Adelaide’s desire for Rory’s love colors her perception of him.
The dating profile illustrates for Adelaide that Rory will always value his version of reality over hers. Rory doesn’t want Adelaide to know that he’s had the profile for some time because he doesn’t want to admit his doubts about her. The fact that he keeps the profile while continuing to date Adelaide suggests that Rory, too, struggles with insecurity and fears being alone. He, like Adelaide, is too afraid to express his feelings, choosing instead to continue the relationship that hurts them both. Releasing herself from Rory’s hold on her represents major progress on Adelaide’s Journey Toward Self-Acceptance.
Adelaide’s new flat symbolizes healing and independence. When Adelaide first moves out of her apartment with Madison and finds her new one in Pimlico, she wants to see the setting as a fresh start. However, because Adelaide moves into the new flat just after breaking up with Rory and is uncomfortable with herself and her emotions, the setting initially feels threatening and overwhelming. The same is true of how Adelaide regards her own healing process. She wants to get better, overcome her heartbreak, and learn how to care for herself. However, this Journey Toward Self-Acceptance is as intimidating to Adelaide as her Pimlico flat.
Over time, the new apartment inspires Adelaide to remake her life and see herself anew, emphasizing the theme of Confronting Mental Health Conditions. After her suicide attempt, she realizes that she does not want to die. Instead, she wants “to decorate her flat with peonies and plants and color-coordinated stacks of books” (256). She wants to invest in and actively curate her new safe space. Because she moves into the apartment at the end of her relationship with Rory, he never intrudes upon the space. The location is free of associations with him, offering Adelaide a fresh, unadulterated realm in which she rediscovers herself and reconciles with her trauma, mental health conditions, and self.
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